Updated: Dec 15, 2020
"Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard.
Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard.
Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard.
Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard.
Life will never be easy. It will always be hard.
But we CAN choose our hard. Pick wisely."
When I first read this, I felt a jolt within me. Although it totally resonated, it also caused me some confliction. I know that being positive and leading a fulfilled life is about mindset and changing yourself from within... by clearing up negative thoughts that occur from the root cause you are more in tune with your emptions and in essence... you. I've studied mindset and positive thinking since I went to a Anthony Robbins seminar in 2003.So I have some knowledge about how we can re-program our minds to be positive about all that we do in our lives (if we choose to). There was just something about this quote that really struck me.
Many people stay in unhappy marriages because it's easier to live an unfilled love life than to suffer the stigma of divorce or separation. Conversely, people who are divorced, are subject to this discrimination and can consequently be isolated from families. If you have ever tried to lose weight then you know that diets are tough! When you see the cake, you want to eat more than you ordinarily would have when not dieting. Maintaining your weight by managing your exercise and remaining disciplined isn't easy. Being in debt can be crippling and has been reported as one of the main causes of stress that people have- having money and being disciplined to retain money without being frivolous can also have its challenges.
Talking about your feelings can be challenging for many people- even those who outwardly seem confident can find it difficult to articulate how they feel... being unable to communicate can cause many stresses- but then expressing yourself in a way that is not conducive to a relationship can also be stressful and hard because communication may not be received as it is intended. Often communication is reported as one of the main sources of conflict in an individuals personal and professional life.
But I think the problem lies in that, as humans, we have a preconceived, and if I'm honest, a misconceived notion that life should be easy. When bad things happen to us in life, we're all like, 'why me?', 'what have I done to deserve this?'. Damn it was only recently that I was feeling sorry for myself and having these thoughts. But what if we believe that life is meant to be hard and bad things are inevitable? I think that if we accept this then we would potentially be more grateful for the good things that some of us currently take for granted. I think when bad things happen, when we lose a loved one, or get made redundant, lose our jobs or money, struggle to quit drinking or lose weight, it hits us harder because we believe that life is supposed to be easy.... we believe that these things shouldn't happen or be easier. But what if we were to start to believe that these things are a part of life and that is how life should be?
Life can be hard. Even when you study things like NLP, and mindfulness and positive thinking ,there are things that will happen in your life that will affect you- we're only human after all. Personally, I think you have to work on training your mind for acceptance- acceptance that life is supposed to be difficult and personally, I think we're here as a test... I think we're reincarnated here to test our resilience, our strength, our goodness and our understanding of others and to respect our world. I think we're here in this world to build our character. The adversity, challenges and karma that is bestowed upon us determines who and what we come back as. Our souls are given many chances to resolve and purify.
Life can be as hard and easy as we want it to be.
If we choose to focus on and feed our negative thoughts, that's what we are going to see. If we don't tap into our unconscious and create real change from within, then we will always rely on our will power and our unruly, incontrollable innate emotions and reactions to the things that happen in our lives. And it can be a long journey to move away from this and re-program our minds to accept change. However, after this journey, when we are at peace with ourselves and we have a vision and purpose and all that we do is aligned to it, then life will be easier.